"If death and grief have taught me anything, it's that time is weird." - Me
So I find myself here, on the one year anniversary of my father's death, teeter-tottering between the disbelief that it has already been 365 days and feeling as if it has been an eternity since I've talked with my Dad. It is one of the strangest things to me about time... how something can seem both distant and close simultaneously."Hope is being able to see that there is LIGHT despite all of the darkness." - Desmond Tutu
Facebook has kindly, as it often does, reminded me of what I was doing 1, 2, even 8 years ago "on this day" this week. As I was reading my posts from last year (seen below) I was reminded how obvious it was that the Lord was with me during that time. For those that might be reading this that don't have a personal relationship with God, or who may think "see, prayer doesn't work, your father still died."... let me let you in on something. The day my Dad died, his lungs were CLEARER than they had been when he was admitted. I'm not sure what his ejection fraction was, but his heart was STRONG until it's final beat... these prayers were answered with a resounding YES!
And yes, he died. And yes, it sucked.
BUT GOD!!!!!
...held me
...comforted me
...is still holding me
...is still comforting me
The following is the song I shared during that week. It's not the song you think it is by the title.
You can listen to it here, PLEASE DO:
It is difficult to put into words, or even try to explain, what it's like when you have felt the Lord's presence. But when you have, regardless of what your "intellect" may try to convince you of, you will never again be able to doubt there is a God.
There is nothing more important than parents passing on a generational legacy of faith and values to their children. - James Dobson
My Dad used to always say, "Do as I say do, don't do as I do.". It was pretty solid advice in his case. 😉 Kidding aside, I will never forget one thing he did "do" that has stuck with me. When we first moved back to Oklahoma from Hawaii we were driving around and he pointed out a big building off to the side of the road. He said, "You see that church? Your Mom and I gave X amount of dollars for that church to be built." At 11/12 years old the amount he told me seemed like a fortune! When I asked him why in the world they would give that much money to a church and not to a college fund he said, "Sarah, that's the best education we could ever give you." My Dad didn't talk to me a lot about God, but that conversation is definitely a part of his legacy of faith.Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8
So as 9 December comes and goes again, I rest in knowing that the Lord that was with me then is with me now. He will still be with me in a month when I'm once again teeter-tottering in disbelief at the weirdness of time that has passed since my niece and grandfather-in-law have died. And I will continue to praise Him because He is close to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit (Ps 34:18). He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb 13:5). He will wipe every tear from my eyes and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain...(Rev 21:4).BECAUSE GOD...
...is constant
...is loving
...is merciful
...is trustworthy
...is true to His word
My Dad
