Half Way

We had our 20 week appointment and I have to say that we were more than thankful for the report. Baby Marden is healthy and all of the tests came back good or negative for anything abnormal. My Mom and Grams both said, "well what did you expect?" To be honest, I expected there to be a false positive... or at least I think that is what I had prepared myself to hear. Not that I expected anything to be "wrong", but I did expect something to be "off" and that they would just need to keep an eye on, but in the end would be nothing. I know that probably sounds horrible, and I don't really know why I thought that, but I did. So, I was in complete and total shock when the doctor said that all reports were excellent and the baby was growing right on track. Wow! That is the BEST thing that I had ever heard and I started praising right then. Now, something could come up later in the pregnancy and even after he is born, and that will be fine and in God's perfect will... I know that. I think what I am trying to say is I realized two things from this report. 1) That I may be a positive person, but I tend to prepare myself for the worse a lot; and 2) That although I say and think I trust God... sometimes I don't. That was a tough lesson to learn, but a needed one.

So, as of right now we are half way through the pregnancy and everything is going well! PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM!!! He has already started teaching me many lessons already.

I was thinking the other day as I was getting ready for work... I would never poison my child on purpose. If someone came to the house and showed me that the water I was giving them, or the soap they used was poisoning them and killing them slowly... I would stop immediatly. I think most Mom's would. Why then do so many of us allow them to be poisoned by this world? Led away from God and His purpose and design for them? This is just something that God showed me to be on guard about with my own son.

I know this post is fragmented, but I have a bunch of random things on my mind today. Thanks for sticking with me through it and a very happy 30th birthday to my sister-in-law Katie!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT KIKI! ~X's n O's~ your Nephew

A WHAT?!!!!!

A BOY!!!!

That's right! Shannon and I found out today that our bundle of joy is indeed going to be a BOY! I haven't gotten sick of saying that! Don't get my wrong, I would be this excited regardless, but there is something about knowing I get to say, "My Girls" a little longer and people will know I'm talking about my nieces. I love them... and I think having a boy will go well with what we have now.

I have had a lot of people ask me about names. My FAVORITE subject. We have 2 names picked out Joshua Elliot and James Andrew. We will wait and see our little guy before we pick a name for him. Joshua Elliot means "Jesus is God and He saves" so for obvious reasons we like that. Plus, Joshua has always been my favorite guys name and is named after on of the most incredible people I've ever known. Elliot is Shannon, his grandfather and his brothers middle name. So, it is family. James Andrew would be called Andrew or Drew. That names means "strong, subplanter"... and James is Shannon's brothers name. Andrew is Shannon's favorite name and is the middle name of two of my best guy friends. So, I don't think we can go wrong either way. Of course, the baby could come out looking like a Eugene... we just don't know. So, stay tuned.

I've posted some photos below... hope you can tell what they are.

A Christmas of Firsts...

Well, following the idea of change... this Christmas was anything but normal. It was full of firsts. It was my first Christmas away from my side of the family (and my first ever away from my sister)... it was my first Christmas in Canada, my first Christmas having FOUR nieces and my first Christmas as a mom-to-be. Last night (Christmas Eve) we were celebrating in the traditional Marden way decorating cookies and hanging out... then Jennie and Andrew came and surprised us by showing up and BRINGING CARMEN!!!!!! Shannon and I got to hold her for the FIRST TIME!!!!!!! It is a feeling that never gets old... I love all of my nieces, and cannot explain the feeling of holding each of them for the first time. It was SUCH an amazing early Christmas present and one I will charish forever! (See photos at the end).

Today we woke up at 5am and went down stairs. Shannon recited the Christmas story, James handed out presents and we all sat around and watched as everyone opened theirs. It was fun. Then Shan and I went over and visited with Gramsie and Grampsie before coming back to the house and getting stuff to take over to Jennie and Andrews house to celebrate with them. Well, on the ride over I'm pretty sure I felt the baby move for the first time... IT WAS SO COOL! I didn't think I would feel it this early, and especially sitting up... but I've never felt anything like it before. It was the best CHRISTMAS present EVER!!!!!! I'm so blessed.

Sorry this is so all over the place, but like I said... I've been up since 5am. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Let the Changes Begin...

So the last post, September 24th, may have been a little vauge... it was meant to be. That was the day I finally mastered the home pregnancy test (finally had to just go get a digital one b/c I couldn't figure out the pink lines, haha). That is the day that I told Shannon to prepare for a lot of changes because he was going to be a DADDY! Man have the changes come faster than I realized. We had our first doctors appointment on October 4th (my sister Kim's birthday) and heard the heartbeat for the first time on November 16th... that is when we were finally able to tell everyone the good news! I'll never forget Shan's reaction... in fact I video taped it:
At my last appointment the doctor looked for the heartbeat 3 times and finally laughed and said the baby was running away from her. Yep, that sounds like the Moore side of the family. Anyway, Shan and I are in Canada now and enjoying our vacation and when we get back we get to SEE THE BABY! So excited. So many changes. Can't wait.

Change is constant...

A CALL TO PRAYER!

I copied this off my friend's blog... we need to read the story and PRAY!

I read about this family this afternoon from a prayer chain email. They are in Uganda trying to get home with their adopted daughter and are stuck because of ridiculous rules by our government. Please read their story and forward it. If you know anyone who can help, please help! But most importantly, after you read this, please drop to your knees and lift these people up in prayer. You and I cannot fix this, but God the Father absolutely can.

A link to their blog is at the end.

Here is what it says...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010
DEVASTATED!!!!!!!!!!

I got to greet Court at the airport with the news that the US Embassy called me and said that they will NOT EVER issue a visa for us. They want the judge to completely rewrite the court order, which is highly offensive. I don't see that happening. There are many, many, many American families here and many waiting to come and NONE of us will receive visas.

This is a death sentence for Sarah. We will have to find someone in Uganda willing to take a girl in her condition (unheard of) and leave her with a stranger. She has severe failure to thrive. She has finally attached to me and now I would have to leave her.

The pain is unimaginable. My boys... what do I tell my boys?

Here is a letter we sent to our congressman tonight...

We had a terrible thing happen today. As we were finalizing the last step in getting our daughter home, the unthinkable happened. We were informed by Sarah that the embassy has changed its stance on Ugandan guardianship and WILL NOT issue her a VISA. Yesterday all the were waiting on was the medical signature and today she is never coming home with us.

I arrived in Uganda an hour ago and was greeted with this news. Basically we are now legally responsible for this girl per a Ugandan court order, but we can not take her out of the country. We can not stay here much longer, I can not be gone from work and we have 3 other boys to take care of at home and visitor VISA are only good here for 2 months, but if we leave we are breaking Ugandan law.

If they made this decision moving forward I would understand, but to be this far along in the process, literally we would have been issued a VISA yesterday, but the doctor was too busy to sign a paper.

Yesterday our paperwork was OK. Today it is unacceptable.

The embassy vice-consular says that they have contacted their lawyers in Washington DC and they said we cannot have a Visa.

The embassy wants the judge to rewrite the entire court order saying that she is allowed to be adopted in the US instead of "allowed to immigrate to the US" and allowed to be a US citizen instead of "will remain a Ugandan citizen." This last part is meant that she would be allowed dual citizenship of both US and Uganda but the US Embassy wants the order to specifically say that she can be a US citizen. This is silly as Ugandan judges cannot rule that anyone be a US citizen.

Ugandan judges are extremely offended at being asked to change something they have been doing for a long time. Many children went home to the US from Uganda with the same wording and now suddenly it is a problem.

We are devastated.

We are meeting with our lawyer in the morning along with about 20 other American and Canadian families.

For those of you from our church, would you please forward this. Would you please send it to our Children's Minister and our Rector. Please ask for prayer.

I don't know how to close this.... I'm on my knees begging for mercy. Begging for my daughter's life. Begging for our family and the other families. Begging for the children who think they are finally free from a life of an orphan and have been told they are going home and will now be dumped by their new parents and left here as orphans again. This IS NOT RIGHT!!!!

Like Sands Through the Hourglass

... No, this is not an episode of DOOL. It is however a night of reflection for me. I love New Years... I always have. I used to keep a scrapbook of sorts (not like what people do now) of everything that went on in a year. It would contain movie passes, awards, tickets to events, newspaper articles, etc. I'd tack as much as I could to the tack board behind my door and then on New Years Eve, I'd take it all down and put it in the book. I love how it is a time of year that makes almost everyone slow down for a second and take a look back at things... and if they want, set goals for the year to come. I love counting my blessings and taking a moment to reflect on everything. So, tonight I did...

I mentioned in the last post that I used to have a Xanga blog (2 actually). Tonight I took some time to re-read some of my old ramblings. I laughed at a few of them; cried and some too. I have changed so much since them... and the most shocking part was to see the areas that I haven't grown in. Those were kind of a slap in the face, but I'm going to choose to see it as God gently reminding me of areas that need attention. ha.

Reading through some of them I was instantly transported back to a place in time. I could see myself slumped over the keyboard in my old Dallas apartment, or the same keyboard, but in Phoenix. It was wild to experience memories I had forgotten I had. Feelings I once felt as I typed those words came back and I just soaked them up. At the other end of things, there were some posts that I don't remember posting at all... and some that had meanings far beneath the surface of the words. It was fun and crazy all at the same time. The one thing I noticed that hadn't changed is my love for quotes. They were everywhere.

Anyway, the point is... I had a good time remembering the past tonight... and an even better one determining how I was going to learn and grow from it.

"Never be afraid to ask a question, especially of yourself..."~ Brian Kates